Me: Res…. Explain why it was necessary to growl and do 2 woofs at 3am, 4am, 4:30, 5am, and 6am?
Res: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Me: Yes you do. You woke us, I told you to shut up. You came over and stuck your cold nose to me.
Res: OK, I was protecting the house.
Me: Against what?
Res: I don’t know. I woke up and thought the house needed protected.
Me: I am bringing the spray bottle, you know the one that I use on the cat, upstairs tonight.
Res: Better than the sucky machine. Now I have to woof at the spray bottle.
Me: Res, you need to let me sleep… or I get grumpy.
Res: The other human sleeps…. He growls in his sleep as well. That’s it I was sleeping and growled and woke myself and barked.
Me: I use the spray bottle on you both! Shut up and let me sleep.