Hoot Lee your drunk a$$ weather is down here in Florida. We request that you come take it home!
Month: January 2022
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Facebook Post: Finally Back Home
Home!
https://cmolnar.com/index.php/2022/01/22/day-6-crestview-fl-babson-park-fl/
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Facebook Post: 2022-01-20
https://cmolnar.com/index.php/2022/01/20/day-4-meraux-new-orleans-and-kenner/
almost done with this trip. One more day and I can head home.
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Facebook Post: 2022-01-19T21:20:13
Today’s travels:
https://cmolnar.com/index.php/2022/01/19/day-3-larose-bourg-houma-and-raceland/
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Facebook Post: 2022-01-18 (You can’t make this up)
And from the “You Can’t Make this up” department:
“My contractor said my system is getting old and told me to submit it as a hurricane claim to the insurance company. He said they they can’t prove it wasn’t.” Yup, I jotted that conversation down.
“My microwave started burning after I painted the inside of it because I couldn’t stand looking at the burn marks anymore. I also tried sanding the inside of the oven to get it all nice and clean. It worked before the hurricane.”
“me: Did you have any joists fall down in the attic?
insured: I am not sure.
me: (looking around at all the crushed metal ductwork), did something fall down, perhaps the roofers?
insured: I am not sure
me: Did the outdoor unit move in the storm and have to be put back on the pad?
insured: I am not sure
me: (trying to decide if I can get away with writing “felt like I was asking questions from a politician headed to Danbury Reform School for ex-governors” in my check out notes) Did you talk about this with your public adjuster?
insured: Yes, He told me to not answer any questions.
Me: (yup, I already figured that out). Cool, have everyhting I need. Report will be out to your insurance company adjuster in 24 hours. (typing: ductwork crushed by activity other than hurricane, Insured is just not sure).and onto the next one:
“your company said a 4-6 window. As long as my contractor shows up before 6:00pm you have to stay.” Me: looking at watch. “I tell you what, if your contractor shows up in the next 20 minutes before I am done looking at the outside unit I will stay. If not you will need to re-schedule.” Insured starts activly texting. Contractor shows up in 10 minutes.
Brought to you by the “you can’t make this up department”
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Facebook Post: 2022-01-16T12:31:23
I have no idea what is going on with Greyhound-data. Getting time out and security errors since 1/13. I have all the races here locally, so if they ever get their $hit together I will upload them to GHD.
Note: nothing changed on my end so the problem is with GHD.
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Facebook Post: 2022-01-16T07:51:36
Dear Dogs:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
To which I (“comment from Janet Tate Crum”) would add: all 3 of you will not fit through the dog door simultaneously. Attempting that maneuver does not result in you fending off the ferocious raccoon/squirrel/renegade leaf any faster. It just results in blood and yelping.
(Author unknown)